Hi Mom,
Today is Easter Monday. The kids are home, Blaine is back to work and it should be a "normal" day off for me. I was reminded today of how you used to call me on Monday mornings and ask me what I had planned for my day off. You would always suggest that I come over and visit with you and dad. Of course Mondays were my errand days so I would often remind you that I had a full day ahead. Today, I would have dropped everything and spent the entire day with you ... I had salmon salad for lunch just now and I was reminded of our day in February where I took you shopping and made us salmon salad for lunch. Rest assured that this time I didn't over cook my salmon. :) Thank you for that day. I know you weren't feeling well but it meant so much to me to have you with me. I remember watching you sleep in the chair as I was painting. You looked so ... you.
This afternoon I noticed your bag of clothes from the hospital that you wore the night before you went home to heaven. It is still in the spot where I dropped it when Mona brought it to me. I couldn't help but pull your shirt out and smell it. I laughed because I remembered pulling it straight off the shelf to put it on you when I took you to the hospital. You had only worn it for maybe an hour so it didn't even smell like you. It smelt like your laundry soap though.
Dad is sick today. I can't help but ache in my heart for you. I read your bible last night, curled up in my chair with a cup of hot tea. It was so comforting and you are right ... It IS the greatest gift that you could give me.
Today I want to go out to the acreage by myself and just sift through your stuff. I am scared to though. Everything I want to do and do, do seems to make me miss you more.
I gotta go mom. Today is really hard for me and I just have so much to say but all that comes to mind is ... I MISS YOU! I NEED to talk to you, to hear your voice. I NEED you to hold me and tell me you love me. How will I ever get over this?
Love you, Always and Forever
Tammy
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